Smartphones have become an integral part in our life. They offer a myriad of benefits, from enhancing communication and productivity to providing entertainment and information at our fingertips. In fact, the world is at out fingertips. Can we handle it? Can we handle the world at our fingertips? OK, maybe we can… (grown adults make their own choices after all) But, can children handle the world in their fingertips?
Imagine going to another country, visiting a nice city for the first time. Just think of the excitement you feel, wanting to explore every inch of it… It’s exciting and sometimes we, adults, act as children from our enthusiasm. Now think, what children do... they simply cannot manage their enthusiasm…
That’s how I parallelize the access of the world at our fingertips, and especially the access of children to the world from their fingertips… They want to explore, learn, satisfy their curiosity and they simply cannot handle the amount of information presented to them. Not only that, but they can interact, liked or followed by others that they don’t know (most of the times). Dopamine hits red from the “likeliness”; dopamine overdose (maybe that’s where the word dope (narcotics) comes from)!
For those that don’t know what dopamine is, it is a hormone in the brain that plays a crucial role in reward, motivation, and pleasure. When we do something we enjoy, or when we receive positive feedback, our brain releases dopamine, making us feel good and encouraging us to repeat that behavior. Subconsciously we are looking forward to repeat the behavior that causes dopamine to be released.
However, in the real world, dopamine is not released so easily. We need to somehow “work hard” to make this happen.
To receive an Academic Excellence, we need to study hard consistently
To become a champion we need to train and have huge dedication to our sport
To receive a promotion at work, we need to develop ourselves and become more valuable
To receive a praise from our boss, we need to exceed expectations
To receive a positive review from a customer, we need to provide excellent service
To succeed in business, we need to dedicate ourselves enormously, be persistent, learn from our mistakes, take risks, be resilient, etc.
To receive a compliment from another person, we need to take care of ourselves, be polite, project confidence, etc.
Children (and adults of course) spend most of their free time in front of their smart phone screen, receiving enormous amounts of dopamine, engaging in superficial and meaningless (most of the times) conversations, having themselves hypnotized making non-productive use of their time. We are giving to children a device that has the capacity to develop the same addiction as smoking, alcohol and drugs. Drugs are illegal; smoking and alcohol are prohibited for children under 18 years old, but smart phones are not!!!
As per the study Smartphone Addiction: Review of Current Evidence, "excessive smartphone use can lead to a range of negative consequences, including impaired social relationships, academic and professional difficulties, sleep disturbances, anxiety, depression, and even physical health problems"*. In addition, Dr. Nicholas Kardaras, a psychologist and an expert on mental health, addiction, and the impacts of our digital age, affirms "recent brain imaging research is showing that they affect the brain's frontal cortex - which controls executive functioning, including impulse control - in exactly the same way that cocaine does"**
Recently I read the book The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. The book talks about happiness, achievement and generally on where to focus in order to develop the right mindset. The impact of social media and smart phones is mentioned in the book. More specifically, the authors discuss that social media:
Generate unhealthy needs on being “liked” and “accepted”
Create the feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out), thus the need of staying connected continually and see what others are doing
Shift your focus toward what you lack in your life, fostering a negative mindset and feelings of inadequacy
Are designed to subconsciously manipulate people’s identity, their desires and behaviors
Stop people from becoming self-determined***
The above facts are extremely dangerous for the development of the new generation. Not being able to decide for themselves and having their desires, opinions, and even identity being manipulated? This hinders personal development and growth; not being able to develop meaningful virtues, such as discipline, determination, self-awareness, self-management, empathy, etc. These individuals are trained not to take any responsibility in their lives, expecting things to happen instantly, even happiness, while developing negative habits…
Are there any good news?
The good news is that the negative impact above doesn’t have to define the reality of you or your children; there’s always a choice. Winners always choose to separate themselves from the masses. They are self-driven and self-determined individuals who consistently align their choices and actions with their personal values and goals. Instead of surrendering to distractions or pressures from society, winners actively seek out opportunities for growth and development. They set and prioritize habits that keep them aligned to the path of greatness no matter what happens.
Simple steps to win and get out of the black hole
1. Help your children set goals – Talk with them and help them understand what they really like and want.
2. Urge them to pursue their passion – Help them find and participate in activities that inspire them, such as sports or hobbies. I would suggest at least one sport activity (for physicahealth and social interaction)
3. Encourage them to strive for their best every single day – Let them get exhausted and take their energy out through meaningful activities
4. Set them screentime limits – Even when you believe that they can control it
5. Be a role model – Children do what they see
What you can’t control, controls you. Technology is a tool that should serve us, not the other way around. My mentor, Jim Rohn, used to say, “children do not lack capacity, they only lack teachers”. Ultimately, we should take the responsibility and be the change. In a world where it’s easy to lose ourselves, let us choose to stand apart—to lead, to grow, and to inspire. Let’s teach our children through our own example, that the real value is measured by the quality of our efforts, and not by the virtual validation and instant gratification.
“Life is not designed to give you what you need, life is designed to give you what you deserve” Jim Rohn
Nakis N. Theocharides
High Performance Coach
05/09/24
*Billieux, J.-F., Van den Eede, F., Schimmenti, G., & Cottraux, J. (2015). Smartphone addiction: A review of current evidence. Computers in Human Behavior, 51, 113-122.
**Kardaras, N. (2016, August 27). It's 'digital heroin': How screens turn kids into psychotic junkies. New York Post. Retrieved from https://nypost.com/2016/08/27/its-digital-heroin-how-screens-turn-kids-into-psychotic-junkies/
***Sullivan, D., & Hardy, B. (2021). The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success. Hay House
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